And deliver us from fat

© 2007 Michael Swickard, Ph.D.

“No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.” – George Bernard Shaw

In an announcement this week, Gov. Bill Richardson, the Haystacks Calhoun of the Democratic presidential race, said he will to take on obesity if elected president. Richardson vowed in a news release “to confront the American obesity crisis head-on as president.” He said at an Obesity Society conference that two out of every three Americans are overweight or, even worse, obese.

That is not me. I am the right weight, but I’m six inches too short.

Sounds like an interesting meeting at the Obesity Society conference. If I had been a fly on the wall I would have slapped all six of my knees when the dessert was served. But that was what this conference was about: that no one should be allowed by law to stigmatize fat people by making fun of them.

Richardson said, “Our next president must take a prominent and public role, joining in your efforts to increase the public’s understanding of obesity and remove the stigma. We must also eliminate discrimination against those who are overweight.”

Richardson’s intention is to add being fat to the Americans with Disabilities Act. Fat used to be in. Now it is out. Maybe it will make a resurgence with an intervention by our government.

Hollywood has had many rotund actors who were beloved, such as Fatty Arbuckle, Ned Beatty, John Belushi, Ernest Borgnine, Marlon Brando, Raymond Burr, Sebastian Cabot, John Candy, Drew Carey, William Conrad, Lou Costello, Dom DeLuise, Chris Farley, W.C. Fields, Jackie Gleason, John Goodman, Oliver Hardy… well, I could go on and on.

When I was doing talk radio, a caller said, “You big, fat, rich Republicans really bother me.” I quickly interjected, “Ma’am, I am not rich.” The control room laughed. You see, I did not care if she called me fat. She huffed and I went to the next caller, who was laughing.

Richardson thinks that people who are not their ideal weight should fall under the protection of the government. He says so many people are overweight because they do not have good health care. Further, Richardson contends that people who are not their ideal weight are so because of disease rather than behavior. As someone who, like Richardson, knows my way around a buffet, I do not think he is right.

When I was younger, my nickname used to be Slim. Now, when one of my friends calls me Slim, I know it is just to get a rise out of me. Have I caught the disease of weight? No, I feel that I have made some good choices and some bad. I have never smoked, but at times have let weight creep up on me. Then I start my walking program of 10,000 steps a day and it gets better.

Will government compel weight loss?

Rather than let me decide when I want to lose weight, at what point will our government compel me to do it? And how will that work? Will we have to step on a scale to eat supersize fries? Will there be a laser calculating our heights while a pad in the floor notes our weight, resulting in certain menu items being unavailable to us if we weigh too much?

As every researcher knows, weight is about calorie intake versus calories burned. Will the doorbell ring at the break of dawn and I be compelled to walk my 10,000 steps each morning until I reach my correct weight?

The two ways our government works are through allowing free choice or compelling action. We already get plenty of urging about weight. When will we be compelled to do something about it? Do we have a constitutional right to be another Haystacks Calhoun and choose to be fat? Will we be required to lose weight? Richardson’s plan raises lots of questions.

Also, if I have a business where people must be able to climb ladders and stand on roofs, can I declare someone unfit for it because they are too fat? Can I even say, “Sorry, your weight is too much?” If not, how do I run my business?

Government is about drawing lines. Is it still going to be OK to laugh when a fat man does a belly-flop at the pool? Probably not.

If we are legally not allowed to stigmatize people for being, as I say about myself, fluffy, then what being about ugly? Can we discriminate against ugly people? I am not saying this is what your mom would have you do; rather, I’m asking if there will there be a government intervention someday for people who are not sufficiently attractive?

We are heading down some slippery slopes and will continue to do so until the election. Remember, the Presidential Opera ain’t over until the fat lady sings.

Swickard is a weekly columnist for this site. You can reach him at michael@swickard.com.