I didn’t understand until my friend’s death how dramatically war changes people. That’s why it’s important for civilians to become aware of the effects of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
By Scott Krahling
My friend Kyle was a colleague at work and a neighbor, as well. For over a year, I considered him one of my closest friends, and the time I spent with him helped me realize many things. His death — by suicide — helped me realize many more.
Unlike Kyle, I am not a veteran of military service. Even so, I always assumed I understood veterans’ issues and that I could empathize with their experiences by extrapolating from my own. I was wrong.
Nothing I have done in my life could have helped me understand how being in battle changed Kyle emotionally and psychologically. After his death, I delved further into the topic of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I wanted to know what killed a man who survived service in the U.S. Army 101st Airborne Division.
Part of my research led me to the Las Cruces Vet Center, where Guy McCommon and his staff work daily with warriors who have served our country and have come back changed by the experience. Changed by the reality of killing. Changed by the reality of being hunted. Changed by the memories of blood, bone and bodies — men, women and children. Changed by ghosts. Changed by nightmares that we who have not been to war cannot imagine.
Kyle tried his best to come back home and fit in, but his personal universe was so manifestly altered by his experiences that what we call “society” was chimera to him. He knew how thin the veil of civilization is, and he knew the savagery of which humans are capable toward one another. There was no going back. There was only slogging forward, trying to adapt alone to a new reality that even his closest friends could not grasp.
Empathy is an empty word for a warrior amid civilians.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It sounds clinical and clean to those of us who are uninitiated. This is not the stress of a job lost or even the funeral of a friend. It is a messy, complicated, jagged and relentless reality for those who experience traumatic events in war or in life. It is shards of glass on the nerves. It is live electricity against bare flesh. It is savage enough to drive a good man to a silent, peaceful grave.
Kyle was not the first — nor will he be the last — to navigate the gauntlet of those experiences and memories. Every day, new soldiers come home, and we welcome them with yellow ribbons and parades, all of which feels good for a day or two, but then they are left to adapt and to cope. Some survive. Some don’t.
PTSD Awareness Day
I asked my colleagues on the Doña Ana County Board of Commissioners to proclaim Tuesday — April 28 — as PTSD Awareness Day in hopes of raising our community’s awareness of what PTSD is and what it means. April 28 is not an important day otherwise, but I hope it will be an important day going forward. I intend to send our proclamation to Santa Fe and to other localities and states — and even to Washington.
I can’t bring back Kyle, and I probably can’t directly help others who are coming home to the realities he faced. But I hope to elevate the profile of the Las Cruces Vet Center and its incredible staff. I hope also to encourage other well-meaning civilians to look around them with educated eyes and look for wounded warriors who may need the help that a vet center can offer.
I believe we need to connect veterans to one another so, within safe environments, they can share their stories and face their PTSD together, each in their own individual way but with a support network of other warriors who have been there.
In Doña Ana County , PTSD Awareness Day will be proclaimed on April 28. But every day, in battles around the world, PTSD itself is taking root like a tenacious weed in the psyches of brave men and women who serve our country. On behalf of Kyle, I want them to know I stand shoulder-to-shoulder with an army of civilians who understand that we can’t understand, but we know a place they can go to be among those who do.
Krahling, a Democrat, represents District 4 on the Doña Ana County Board of Commissioners.