Wolves: good with teriyaki sauce

One day this tough hombre stepped up to my school picture camera. He was a fourth grader who glared at me and announced, “I’ve got a constitutional right not to smile.” I shrugged and said “OK.” He sat down, looked relieved and I took a pretty good school picture. Fourth grade must be when we learn our constitutional rights.

A right compels or precludes an action. We hear of animal rights. Does the Bill of Rights apply to non-humans? Further, if animals have rights, is it only majestic creatures who have rights, or do the rights holders include insects and bacteria? We know that people want to save the buffalos and condors, but when and why do other creatures not have rights?

Finally, when multiple rights conflict, how do we arbitrate the senior rights? If either a human or an animal must die, are humans always primary?

There is the wolf reintroduction to New Mexico. It is not a question of wolves losing viability as a species. In Alaska, they are hunted as varmints. But in New Mexico, they were exterminated a century ago because they posed a danger to people and property.

Currently, citizens in New Mexico’s Catron County are considering making safety cages at bus stops to protect children waiting for school buses. How many children would have to die before all large predators would be eliminated from New Mexico?

No children have been killed, yet. But, as an intellectual exercise in the theory of rights, what would be the governmental response to an animal predator killing a child? I suspect the environmental lobby would paralyze government officials, since they are the most virulent force acting upon our government these days. With lawsuits and other intimidations, no general response would follow the death of a child, only a specific one involving that individual predator.

The New Mexico Legislature has considered banning all pit bull breeds of dogs in New Mexico because they are said to be dangerous, but has not approved such a ban. So why is there no move to ban wolves, mountain lions and bears who have even more potential for injury and death? Is being killed by a mountain lion somehow different than being killed by a pit bull?

As to wolf reintroduction, I have gone 56 years without seeing a wolf in the wild and I can go another 56 years. But the wolf reintroduction is not really about the wolves.

It’s about the land

Oddly, wolf reintroduction is all about the land. Southern New Mexico is former wolf habitat. The wolves were removed from our area, so the land is now endangered wolf habitat until wolves are brought back to the land.

Wolves no longer roam in my backyard, which is great since, if wolves were in my backyard, it would scare the heck out of my dog, or worse. Am I better off without wolves in my backyard? Yes, I am, and my friends who have wolves in their backyards are worse off.

Some humans say wolves have the constitutional right to be in our backyards. In fact, using the government as their muscle, these people impose this right of animal over human upon us. Though illegal, some humans say the solution to varmints, even protected varmints, is the “three S” approach: shoot, shovel and shut up.

Most of us get our animal fix with domestic dogs, cats and horses. I rescued my cat Grumpy 15 years ago. I voluntarily have a dog. I was not compelled by the government to give these animals the right to my family habitat. They pose no danger to me and I accept their cost without complaint.

There are 702 official wilderness areas in our country. Every day we hear of more areas being considered. The major areas of wilderness were secured many years ago. A wilderness designation makes the land no longer accessible to many citizens, especially ranchers who already did not want development on the land since they use it for grazing.

The land is already protected, but environmental groups want no one on the land. This makes the land no longer any value for tourists, ranchers or recreation.

The government, under intense pressure from environmental groups, is considering expanding the wolf reintroduction and wilderness designations. We end up with land we can no longer use and find that animals have rights over us humans.

It reminds me of this story. In a New Mexico court a man stood accused of killing and eating an owl. The judge asked why he did it. “I am out of work and my family was hungry,” the man replied.

The judge softened and said he had been without work and hungry. A thought suddenly occurred to the Judge: “What does Owl taste like?”

“Kind of like Eagle, but my family’s favorite is Wolf with teriyaki sauce.”

Swickard is a weekly columnist for this site. You can reach him at michael@swickard.com.