Big Bill gets some presidential help from Santa

Jay Miller’s planned Christmas Day column is a play on the classic poem “The Night Before Christmas” in which Gov. Bill Richardson laments his low poll numbers among 2008 Democratic presidential hopefuls but ends up with quite a gift from Santa to aid his White House bid.

The poem begins with these lines:

“Twas the night before Christmas at the governor’s mansion when Bill began fretting about losing traction,” it reads. “I’m stuck at just two percent in the polls. That’s not going to get me on many talk shows.”

In the poem, Richardson complains that he’s accomplished all sorts of international feats, but he isn’t gaining ground in the polls. He frets for awhile, then gives up and lays down to sleep.

Then Santa shows up, gives the governor his sleigh to help him travel more quickly around the nation, “and you won’t have to ask loan sharks to make a donation.” (Ouch! Cheap shot!)

“You’ll be the first president to go door to door,” Santa tells Richardson. “You won’t have to do chimneys, which I know are a chore.”

(Here’s another cheap shot:)

“For a man of your size, who’s as big as me, you can fit in my sleigh, as you can easily see,” Santa tells the governor.

Miller has Richardson give Santa a ride home. The governor takes the reins, “to his team gave a whistle, and away they both flew away like a Virgin Galactic missile.”

Enough of my quoting. Just go to Miller’s site and read it by clicking here. It’s hilarious.